Lt. Elbar’s Report to Planet
Pexlia
By
Valerie L. Egar
To: Madam Zina Isk, Honored
President of Planet Pexlia
From: Lt. Kiak Elbar, Galaxy
Explorer
Date: Alowar 16, Pexlian Year, 3022
After
landing the Pexlia Superzoom Spacecraft in an uninhabited area, I reduced its
size with Regulation 940 spray and secured it in my pocket. I made my way to a
settlement to discover what I could about the creatures that inhabit this
planet.
When
I arrived at what I believed to be a dwelling, my trusty DNA calibrator advised
rearranging my DNA into a small creature called
“mouse.” In this disguise, I was able to slip into the dwelling to
observe the creatures inside.
Four
furless creatures that walk on two legs, and cover their bodies with layers of synthetic
outer skins, which they call “clothes,” live in the dwelling. All of them
amused themselves with various electronic devices. I observed them scroll
through pictures, watch pictures that move, and use their thumbs to communicate.
They referred to this as “texting.” Sometimes
they talked into the devices.
Another electronic
device blared in a room they call “den” and one of the creature watched it and manipulated
the small electronic device at the same time. The loud device is “TV” and it
tells the creatures many things over and over, like how to make their teeth clean, wash
their bodies and eat certain foods. I have concluded from this that the
creatures need much guidance about how to do everyday things and do not learn
quickly.
The
group living together in the dwelling are called “family” and are related to
each other. They are named Dad, Mom, Becca and Reese. A large furry creature called
“Dog” is part of the family group, even though Dog looks nothing like the
others and is clearly a different species. It walks on four legs and its
hearing and scenting capabilities are far superior to those of the furless
creatures. Dog was immediately aware of my presence and barked, but the furless
creatures did nothing because they could not hear or smell me.
I
watched for hours and noticed how all of the furless creatures worked to serve
Dog. Reese, the smallest creature, brushed Dog. Before the creatures ate, Mom
prepared a meal for Dog and fed him. After the meal, Becca took Dog outside and
played with him. Later that night, Dad stopped watching TV and took Dog for a
walk when Dog scratched at the door. Mom put ice in Dog’s water before she went
to bed and Becca gave him a cookie that was made especially for him.
From
my observations, I concluded Dog is the leader of the household and the furless
creatures are employed to serve him. These observations were confirmed the
following day when upon waking, Mom fed Dog before her furless family. Becca
took him for a walk, and then the furless ones rushed off to something called
“work” and “school” after petting Dog and telling him to have a good a day. Dog spent his day sleeping on the
biggest bed in the house and chewing on a special bone they’d left for him.
At
13:00 hours, I left the dwelling and rearranged my DNA into my Plexian form and
enlarged my spacecraft to prepare for the journey home. I have established the planet is occupied by
intelligent life in the form of Dog and will look forward to discussing further
investigation with you upon my return.
Respectfully
submitted, Lt. Kiak Elbar, Galaxy Explorer
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Copyright 2018 by Valerie L. Egar. May not be copied or reproduced without permission from the author.
Published March 4, 2018 Journal Tribune Sunday (Biddeford, ME).
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