Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Dear Diary

     by Valerie L. Egar

 Dear Diary,
I am bored, bored, bored. Nothing interesting ever happens around here. Mom says I should think of something interesting. When I’m bored, nothing is interesting. She should know that, I think.
Dear Diary,
            Ugh! It’s too cold to be outside and there is nothing to do. I finished reading my library books and did my homework and now I’m bored. I gave Skittles some kitty treats, but he’s bored too. I can tell.  Mom says I should think of something to do.  I don’t know why she doesn’t have any ideas. Maybe she’s bored too.
Dear Diary,
            Maybe today I’ll just make a list like the ones I always see in Mom’s magazines. Here it is: Things I Really Really Don’t Like  (Mom says ‘hate’ is a bad word or I’d use that).
1.     Brussels sprouts
2.     Mean people
3.     Mosquitoes
 4.     Grandpa’s beard
5.     Plaid
6.     Being bored!!!!
I still can’t think what I am supposed to do to not be bored. Mom is no help at all.

Dear Diary,
Mom suggested I make a list of things I like.  She says that’s more “positive,” whatever that means.
Things I Really Really Like (I’d say love, but Mom says love is for people and pets).
           1.     Glitter
           2.     Koala bears
           3.     Australia
           4.     Strawberry ice cream
           5.     Skateboarding
          6.     Not being bored, which I still am!!!!
Dear Diary,
             I told Mom about the list of things I like. She said, Why do you like Australia?
         Here’s why— koala bears live there. So do kangaroos and fruit bats that look like foxes and hang upside down in trees. I’d like to see that.  People surf all the time because they have big waves. Right now, it’s summer there and I would like that because I could go outside and wouldn’t be bored.  People are never bored in Australia, there’s so much to do. I think when I’m older that’s where I’ll live.
Dear Diary,
            I’ve turned my bedroom into Australia! I put all my koala bears and my kangaroo on the shelf over my bed. I hung my stuffed fox upside down underneath the shelf to pretend he’s a fruit bat. Mom gave me magazines and I cut out pictures of surfers and a bird that lives in Australia called an emu and hung them up.
            I went online and learned there’s a coral reef off the coast of Australia called the Great Barrier Reef. It’s over a thousand miles long and people scuba dive there, so I’ve hung pictures of tropical fish and people scuba diving on my walls, too.
            Australians speak English, but they use a lot of words we don’t. In school today, Joan told Mira her sneakers weren’t ‘cool’ and hurt Mira’s feelings. I told Joan that was a lot of “piffle,” which means nonsense. She didn’t say anything after that!  Then I said the sneakers looked “bonza, fair dinkum,” which means they looked excellent, honest.  Now everybody is trying to talk like they’re Australian, too.
           Tomorrow when I go to the library, I’m going to get books about Australia.
            P.S.  I’m not bored anymore.

 Published in The Sunday Journal Tribune, February 14, 2016. Copyright 2016 by Valerie L. Egar. May not be reproduced or distributed without permission from the author. Like the story? Please like my Facebook page, Valerie L. Egar, and visit my website,  


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